Funk and rock: two words innocuous enough in their own rights but when combined enough to strike terror and loathing into any sane human being. Wantage’s Quadrophobe play funk-rock. Badly. Like, really, really badly: stumbling and grooveless, witless and self-consciously wacky. The band’s singer is a self-confessed `eccentric’, a sure sign he is anything but. `Barbarella’ is notable only for its clichéd wah-wah onanism and the frontman’s moaning-cum-shouting, which he seems to perceive as somehow soulful. `Old Five Legs’, meanwhile, is a musically mundane tale of a five-legged octopus, which shows just how Ker-razy Quadrophobe are. Their parties must be, like, utterly mental. Really. Oh fuck it, this is just crap. Lame, lazy and pointless. Guess that makes me a Quadrophobe-phobe. But as they sing themselves, ‘nothing good will ever come from this’.