It’s a freezing night in Oxford, and I arrive at the Wheaty confused by the bus ride. An utter lack of any kind of snow at my house in the leafy Slade, through the apparent inch or two covering South Park and on to the complete lack of anything approaching snow or even frost in town. I’m told the South Park snow is merely frozen fog-fall but I’m sure I saw a flake or two on the way through. Hmm…

Anyway, that’s all scene-setting bollocks because it’s a metal night at the Wheatsheaf, courtesy of Moshka, who’ve seen fit to book a couple of known local names and a relative newcomer on the bill. As it happens they’ve got the running order all wrong, or at least the first couple of bands arse about face, because Crysis kick things off in assured style, belying their supposed newcomer status. Sporting a tiny frontman who looks like Iggy Pop crossed with someone even smaller than Iggy Pop but possessed of the kind of demonic voice usually found among much larger, more Viking-looking men, he nonetheless leads the line impressively. Also catching the ear is a lead guitarist who will love the fact that I’m about to compare him to Dimebag Darrell, not necessarily in overall skill but for his approach to mixing up the licks and tricks to construct a thoroughly impressive solo when called upon.

Crysis aren’t perfect, though. They’re far too matey for a start. Yes, you should connect with your audience and have a certain down-to-earth approachableness, but spending three or four minutes between each song chatting amiably is going to seriously reduce your hardcore credibility. Strike a balance between throwing your crowd the horns and telling them that they’re insignificant worms who aren’t metal enough to take (1,2,3,4) THIS… I also have to pull up their drummer a bit. I’m assured he’s having an off night, and I hope so, because I’ll always sympathise with a drummer who isn’t playing his own kit. But in this kind of hardcore, modern, Lamb of God influenced metal you can’t be anything but absolutely on the ball, and sadly his feet don’t quite keep up with his brain tonight. The ideas are there but the execution lacks. I don’t want to sound harsh because overall Crysis were excellent, and for a new band they certainly impress, but there’s no slack to be had here and other bands will eat you up on the technicalities.

Speaking of slack, here come Riot House, the band who should be the openers at an AC/DC tribute night at the local British Legion and who certainly aren’t about to upset Crysis. Things have changed, generally for the better, since I last crossed paths with them, but tonight they’re on the wrong bill and up against some serious heavy hitters, and it just isn’t going to work for them. Let’s start positive: their drummer has grown some balls (or possibly they’ve grown a different drummer..?). It could be the Wheaty’s PA vs the Port Mahon’s utter lack of anything last time I saw them, but he gives it some beans and tries hard to push the band on. He’s the least impressive drummer of the night but where he lacks in brutality and technicality he makes up by bringing a bit of groove to the night and has a decent gig in my book.

Sadly the rest of the band seem to have listened to Metallica’s Kill ‘Em All and thought “we like it, but it’s a bit aggressive…” The end result is some lumpen semi-thrash-but-not-really riffs, some AC/DCish hard rockers and a whole lot of not a lot else. The other thing they’ve changed since my last encounter is that they’ve grown a new frontman/singer. I’m not sure I can think of a better analagy than describing him as being on loan from the Barenaked Ladies, which when mixed with a semi-soft-metal approach really just means they’ve got a genial Canadian onstage looking a bit sheepish and out of place. He can sing ok, certainly hits the notes which is more than can be said for a lot of local “singers”, and there’s a few well thought out harmonies, but it’s just so restrained and nicey-nicey that you think he really wants to sing for Maroon 5. Their version of ‘Am I Evil’ is frankly the least evil thing I’ve ever heard and I’ll be giving a copy to my granny for Christmas. Normally she prefers Cannibal Corpse but I’m trying to wean her onto lighter things for the sake of her circulation.

13Gauge change all that. Spurred by Crysis’s frontman’s performance, they hit the stage with an already semi-naked, be-masked frontman who looks even more deranged when the scary-face mask comes off. It’s undeniably the most controlled display of outright hostility I’ve seen in a long time. I can’t claim to be completely agnostic on this front, their drummer does also play in my band, but we’re a different beast and I can honestly say I haven’t seen 13Gauge live for well over a year and they too have changed a few things. They are infinitely tighter, a metric ton heavier and the overall impression is three guys providing the soundtrack to another guy who would happily tear your face off if it amused him to do so. And the music reflects that. It’s truly terrifying.

They will kill me for saying this, but you can trace the root influences of their form of hardcore, brutal metal back to the early days of nu-metal, Korn et al. It’s infinitely heavier, much faster than that stuff, more in tune with blast-beat laden Napalm Death in places, but that thread of massively downtuned, groove oriented riffs is present and mixed with more modern metal and death/hardcore. And it just doesn’t let up. Despite the frontman gasping for breath between each song, they keep hitting with more pounding riffs, throwing some tricksy time signatures in to keep you on your toes. Nothing tops 4 minutes, the arrangements are taught and functional, serving as a rock solid foundation underneath the screams and utterings of a madman. I like, but I’m also quite scared.

So yeah, Riot House should have been the insignificant openers and Crysis should have got everyone in the mood for a kick up the snout with a spiky boot from 13Gauge. At least I got a lift home.