Nice tunes, shame about the concept. Well, never let it be said that we Oxford musos don’t think big. Once Upon A Time (In Space) is a campy narrative poem which visualises a cosmic war between, um, the characters of children’s nursery rhymes. Chief villain of the piece is the (heretofore merry) Old King Cole, who has tired of his pipes, his bowls and fiddlers three and has instead become corrupted by a thirst for conquest. A motley band of rebels opposes him, consisting of sapphic warrior princesses, reluctant space pirates and, um, the three little pigs.

This probably sounds a lot more fun than it really is. The preposterousness of the premise is not really the problem: rather it is the unevenness of tone, the lack of a central character you can latch on to and above all the bloody awful acting. At its best, the story is told straight, almost like a chivalric tale, but at many points it degenerates into sub-Red Dwarf whimsy. The line “there must be some kind of override” is uttered with such lack of conviction that it makes Emmanuelle In Space sound like Solaris.

Fortunately this farrago of tripe is punctuated by some rather good music. Cleverly, The Mechanisms don’t go remotely Ziggy Stardust on us (or even Winchell Riots, if you’re a localist) and instead plump for mediaeval balladry and some spanking sea shanties. Highlight is the rollicking ‘Our Boy Jack’, soaked in salt water and rum; the highest compliment you can pay The Mechanisms is that it is impossible to know if many of the tunes are originals, or have been plundered from some ancient folk-music tome. As soon as each number is done, however, you hear the gears grinding as another well-loved kiddies’ tale gets plonked into the sausage machine of the Mechanisms’ laboured conceit. We cannae take it anymore, Captain.