The Scholars / Four Dead in Ohio / Relik @ O2 Academy, Oxford, 28/04/2009

It was standing room only at The Zodiac Room last night, which is less impressive than it sounds, given that there were only about ten seats in the joint. With the weather outside grimly thunderous, the bands actually did quite well to muster forty odd payers through the door on the proverbial Dead Wet Tuesday. The quality of the entertainment, unfortunately, was on the variable side.

One of this website’s mottoes is ‘never trust a band with a misspelled name’, and Relik didn’t buck the dismal trend established by ‘The Keyz’ and others. Workmanlike purveyors of the sort of decentish, inoffensive, competent indie rock that Chris Evans used to peddle on TFI Friday back in the nineties, they sounded like they were having a grand old time, even if the end product was pretty predictable.. Fair play to them, as maintaining enthusiasm and commitment in the middle of a yawningly empty cavern takes guts, but invention and melody were rather low in abundance. The high point by far was an excellent cover version of Kings of Leon’s ‘Sex on Fire’, which demonstrates yet again that playing other people’s tunes is risky, as it can show up the poverty of your own material.

There was no great improvement in my mood with the appearance of Four Dead in Ohio , who provided ear-splitting, groove-based drone rock in the style of Kasabian, incorporating the usual loops, echoes and phasers. The songs were thoroughly well performed, but boredom set in after fifteen minutes, which is what usually happens to me when I have to listen to bands that are best heard while on drugs (they call it ‘Narcotic Rock’, apparently. Just say no, kids!). The flow was not helped by interminable pauses between the songs, so that the lead guitarist could fiddle with his setup, during which the cynical demon in me kept wanting to yell out, ‘Come on guys, you’re only vamping on a D chord, how hard can that be?’. Inevitably, the mind and eye wandered from band to audience, and I realised that my German friend had been right all along: ninety five percent of English girls dress like prostitutes.

Things picked up a good deal with headliners The Scholars. Original they are not, and their influences are too many to mention, with The Killers, Editors, Interpol and even The Pet Shop Boys lurching alternately into view, like cardboard pop-ups on a shooting range. Still, they have some excellent, singalong tunes, notably ‘This Heart’s Built to Break’ and others from their auspicious debut record ‘Turbulence’, and these were increasingly confidently reeled off as the set progressed. Singer and bassist Adrian Gillet is well-served by his bandmates: he sings in an arch Neil Tennant baritone and often vocalists operating in this range can get drowned out by over-excitable guitarists. In this context, the poise and restraint of Tim Mobbs and Chris Gillet were admirable, meaning that Adrian’s voice came across as authoritative and focussed. Some of the material is a little slight: ‘Paintings’ is little more than a repeated chorus, but Josh Herring’s clever programming gave it an epic grandeur that it probably didn’t deserve. A couple of strong songs from ‘Turbulence’ brought the set to a pleasing end, sending me off into the Stygian murk glad I stuck it out to the finish.

  • Beaver Fuel

    95% is a little harsh Colin, I know loads of English girls who don’t dress like slappers!

  • http://www.gappytooth.com gappy

    Hmm, presumably as opposed to Scottish girls, who are models of decorum, Colin?

    Anyway, a review wiuth the word “stygian” in is AOK with me!!

  • http://www.myspace.com/thescholarsuk Tim Mobbs

    Haha, my girlfriend who was there read that and was most offended! I reassured her saying that Colin must have been talking about my mum who was also in attendance!

  • http://www.myspace.com/relikofficial Pete from Relik!!

    What’s the point in doing a review if you’re gona slag everything off?! I don’t mean so much with us, I think there is a good review in there somewhere, even if the end product isn’t that great! I actually really liked TFI Friday and went to it a few times, so that’s nice of you to say! Stereophonics come to mind though… “Mr Writer, why don’t you tell it like it really is….”!!

  • Friendly Gigger

    I would just like to comment, that i was at this gig and the entertainment on show was more than reasonable. In my view Relik had just as much melody as the ‘TFI’ Friday bands you compaired them too, a genre that is not present enough in todays pop covered music scene… Four Dead In Ohio were worth a watch as were the Scholers. I would definately check them out again…. Above all, these were three bands just trying to enjoy what they do and i think that the quality on show was far above the review that was given to them here.. Don’t get me wrong i know it is your job to give what you think is an honest and if anything you should be giving them more respect as a music lover rather than just trying to make a name for youreslf as a harsh task master……

    As for the prostitutes comment i think that you must be being paid way to much to do this as from what i saw the women of the night you must be used to paying for must be very high class and expensive…. not only have you insulted the bands… but also the fine selection of women present..

    I spoted quite a few tasty girls…. a german bloke and now you come to mention it….. a twat holding a pen and paper….
    The Friendly Gigger.
    x

  • The Loz

    ‘never trust a band with a misspelled name’

    Who wants to trust bands ? Part of the rollercoaster is that the buggers let you down.

    Desperate journalists can let you down sometimes as well. ‘95% of English girls…’ etc is fighting talk sunshine.

  • Relik Fan

    To be honest, I think your enitre review is crud.

    You probably got denied by one of the said ‘prostitutes’ at the start of the night and so spent the rest of the night in a pissy.

    Also, I’m assuming like all ‘good’ journalists what you have written is based on fact, and therefore you have surveyed sufficent amount of people to base this 95% figure on. What’s that? You haven’t?! You simply made it up! Shocking!!!

    You clearly need to stop publishing in the public domain and return to simpler things….that or actually give some positive feedback on up and coming bands. Unfortunately not everyone starts perfect. If you would like an example, look in the mirror

  • Raj Voq

    Tell me more about this purely factual “‘good'” music criticism that you’ve got in scare quotes there, Relik Fan.
    “…At 0:37 the bassline switches from C# quavers on the fourth fret of the third string and sketches out a dominant seventh arpeggio of the V chord as vocalist Bob Bobson (24, of Wheatley) glides into a descending melisma on a word which could be assumed to be ‘you’, but this objective chronicler must concede that it might instead be ‘ewe’, or perhaps something else altogether in a less familiar language” [continues for 94 pages per song] anyone?

    That said, the 95% line is almost unforgivable. What semi-legal profession do 95% of British males dress like, Colin? It’s bad enough when your reviews single out every female performer for their looks, but now half the audience are fair game too?

    (OK, it’s rather unlikely that half would be female. I wonder why, faced with similar attitudes, displaying an interest in music after 21 might seem like a man’s game…)

  • Joe

    95% of English Males dress like drug dealers.

  • Beaver Fuel

    Sense of humour for sale – well used but 95% reliable. Would suit musician or friend of musician.

  • Fizzywig

    95% of cats look like they’re wearing all-in-one furry pyjama suits.

  • Phill

    95% of people who complain about ‘bad’ reviews on here are in the band being reviewed.

  • http://www.myspace.com/relikofficial Pete from Relik!!

    Phill, admittedly I did write a comment there myself, but I think somebody needs to work on their maths…. 11 comments, 1 band member that’s around 9%, not 95%!! And also, Mr / Mrs Beaver Fuel, I’m sure you wouldn’t like it if some twat went round telling people that all, sorry 95%, of your female friends from England, dress like prostitutes! I’ve seen quite a few pictures from the gig and I can’t say that anyone in them could be classed as looking like prostitutes! I still fail to see how going on TFI Friday could be a good thing too!

  • http://www.myspace.com/relikofficial Pete from Relik!!

    A bad thing sorry!

  • http://www.spiral25.com/ Joe

    “95% of people who complain about ‘bad’ reviews on here are in the band being reviewed.”

    ” think somebody needs to work on their maths…. 11 comments, 1 band member that’s around 9%, not 95%!! ”

    But Phill did not stipulate just complaints on this thread, he said “on here” which I think it is safe to assume that he means 95% of people who complain about ‘bad’ reviews on this site, not just this particular review. Although actually I don’t think I would make this assumption and would ask Phill to clarify his data.

    Also you counted all 11 comments but not all of the comments are complaints and Phill stipulated 95% of complaints and not 95% of comments.

  • http://www.spiral25.com/ Joe

    Sorry slight mistake “95% percent of people” not 95% of complaints.

    There’s a possible one-to-many relationship between people and complaints.

  • http://www.spiral25.com/ Joe

    Can we track Judge James Pickles down and ask him what he thinks about this one?

  • Phill

    95% of me can’t be bothered (the other 5 % is playing grand theft auto)

  • http://www.myspace.com/relikofficial Pete from Relik!!

    Joe I think you’re absolutely right there! And Phill, I agree too, who actually gives a shit!! It’s just a review!

  • Beaver Fuel

    Pete from Relik – read the first post on this thread and then re-read your post #13. See what I’m saying…?

  • Relik Fan

    @ Raj Voq – clearly you need to re-read what I have written. I was talking about his jounalist professionalism where he has obvioulsy made the 95% figure up, as he comments on English Girls in the population, not the females in the audience.

    I did not use the words ‘good’ and ‘band’ in the same sentenace. Not even in the same paragraph.

  • Joe

    What? You expect him to research it first and come up with a more accurate figure for what percentage of English girls dress as prostitutes?

    Something that I don’t think anyone else has pointed out yet:

    How did Colin and his German friend know what country the girls in the audience come from? It’s clearly an assumption but not necessarily a safe assumption, they could have all been on holiday from Cornwall or somewhere like that.

    I could pick holes in this until the cows come home (or my tractor falls on top of me, which ever happens first) but I won’t. Well, not right at the moment anyway.

  • ls

    I like the suggestion from comment 1 combined with Colin’s new “ladies, can’t take a joke” introduction to the Misfit Mod review that Beaver Fuel might be in the “politically correct brigade”…

  • colinmackinnon

    And on that note, i think its time to call a halt: things are getting too silly, as Graham Chapman used to say. All subsequent posts about this will be deleted.

    cheers

    c