Secret Rivals: Demo

Just as you should never judge a book by its cover, you shouldn’t judge a band by the amount of time they spend spouting rubbish on internet message boards, although there’s always a feeling that spending that time practising rather than bickering might be more productive.

Secret Rivals are particularly verbose in this department, but listening to these three songs, you start to understand why – even their music sounds like they’re having a furious argument. `Point Of Subtraction’ finds the boy-girl vocal pair tripping over each other to have the last word. He’s breathless and slightly effete; she’s strident and tends to squeal but it tends to work okay in a messy kind of way since Secret Rivals seem to be all about punk attitude over melody or musical proficiency. A simplistic Buzzcocks pop thrash fizzes beneath the duelling pair but maybe they should grab themselves a couple of Prolapse albums and see how a bit more space between the protagonists might actually accentuate the sense of chaos.

`Moscow’ sees Secret Rivals dip into prettier, poppier territory, singer Clouds taking sole vocal duties over that trademark guitar fizz. Unfortunately the mix means she’s barely audible, never mind decipherable and the overall effect is like the awkward, slightly wayward first offering from a lost 80s jangle band.

Back to the kinder-core scrapping for `Break Song’, which offers a better glimpse of what Secret Rivals are aiming for (ostensibly the first Sonic Youth album), but equally demonstrates how much they need to tidy up their act and expand their horizons if they want to get there. Still, enough promise from a band whose energy levels alone keep your attention from wandering.

Secret Rivals Myspace

  • Mark

    Ok I will comment here…I’m sure I will not be the last…agreed the mix is not the best though recording/mixing with Joe will sort that out im sure!! Still I prefer Rivals live to on record and the hardest thing is getting that energy down off stage but I know it will improve. ‘Moscow’ is in the right direction though, the song, not the place.

    …I do wonder about the singers (male) skills on the football pitch though; to me he sounds like he could talk his way into getting sent off for ‘verbal’!!??

  • Toby

    Seems like a fair review to me – SR arent the only local band who spend too much time spouting shit here and on Nshift forum but it has always put them off them a bit but checked out their Myspazz on the basis of the review and it’s okay – nothing special but imagine itd be fun live. Does sound a bit too much like an old riot girl band 15 years too late at times though!

  • Jay Rival

    Thanks for thwe review Zoe

    have to say its only me that spent a long time batteling with a certain Oxford band not the rest of the band…(most of my band havent ever visited NS or Oxbands.

    cheers for not dwelling on the quality of mix it was recorded using a lap top and a very cheap mic.

    and Mark the only chances of me being booked in a footy game would be for over celebrating when one of my right foot volleys glues Grill to the spot and burts through the back of your net haha.

  • Jay Rival

    Oh and ill try and check out Prolapse today (cheers for the tip) x :)

  • colinmackinnon

    Hi Jay,

    Must say I’d be very disappointed if some of your fellow rockers haven’t looked in on the site. The site is for musicians and gig-goers alike!

    I know that it’s easy to get sucked into a big internet wrangle, but sometimes one just has to walk away. I’ve largely avoided Secret Rivals and Spiral 25 gigs because I didn’t want to reward you all for the soap opera nonsense going on on the message boards. This must be true of other potential gig-goers too.

    The reviews here and elsewhere suggest that both bands have strong qualities- you should feel confident enough now not to need to get involved in internet slug-fests, and just concentrate on building your set and following naturally.

  • Jay Rival

    I do and i will

    its shocking to see it have an effect really but then again this is a very small community i suppose…but yea i agree batteling with Joe on tiniterweb is a bad thing (no matter how dull my work is haha)

    were live tonight at Fat Lills with Dessert Storm should be furious do come.

  • Grundy

    I didn’t realise that the internet banter between some people would put them off going to see a band so much. I think that currently SR are better in a live environment than on this demo, played with them at T’Wheatsheaf earlier this year and think what they were doing worked well, but its still early days and once a full direction and sound is found then I think that they will be coming up with a more polished demo.

  • Fizzywig

    I like the idea of a dessert storm. Jelly and ice cream flying in all directions as a spotted dick thunders ominously in the corner.

  • Beaver Fuel

    That made me think of ‘Flying Jelly Attack’ by Shonen Knife. Not that I really thank you for reminding me of that…!

  • Fizzywig

    I wanna have jelly jelly jelly jelly jelly jelly jelly beeeeeeean!

  • http://www.last.fm/music/spiral+25 Joe

    “I’ve largely avoided Secret Rivals and Spiral 25 gigs because I didn’t want to reward you all for the soap opera nonsense going on on the message boards. This must be true of other potential gig-goers too.”
    Maybe you should have talked to one of us and found out what really happened before making a decision like that?

    It’s slightly unfair of Jay to turn this into Spiral 25 versus Secret Rivals anyway.

    I think most people who love music won’t let such things get in the way of them going to gigs though, we fortunately do still have a very supportive and diverse music scene.

  • http://www.gappytooth.com gappy

    Oh, come on, Joe, what clearly happened is that some people were having a very childish and very public burst of name calling, it doesn’t matter who was more or less culpable.

    But it’s over now, right everyone?

  • Jay Rival

    Yes me and Joe are now best of freinds so everyone can come see everyone again and bask in the joy of our very polite lip biting music scene hoorah.

    if it makes any difference i can confirm that Secret Rivals are like 3 little Fonzys no one should presume because i have an argument with someone that as a band we are argumentetive (nor do we sound like Sonic Youth although im sure anyone whos actually listened to Youth is fully aware of that heh)

  • http://www.last.fm/music/spiral+25 Joe

    “Oh, come on, Joe, what clearly happened is that some people were having a very childish and very public burst of name calling, it doesn’t matter who was more or less culpable.” -gappy

    OK, that’s fine then, as long as by “some people” you aren’t including me because I haven’t actually done any name calling as far as I can remember. I leave that to the likes of Bono, Kev, Jon Spira, Jay, Phill, Pete Bastard and RegardlessOfWhoIAm who are far more capable of doing such things and much more outspoken and vicious than I’ve ever been yet who are tolerated, in fact, not just tolerated but actually respected.

    “But it’s over now, right everyone?”
    I would like to think so. It’s not though. As long as you have mouthy bullies around and people that like to get p****d and go around winding others up anonymously on these forums the problem will continue to occur, the best thing to do would be to ignore it all, the thing is that people don’t seem to be able to resist having a poke and then others don’t seem to be able to resist getting involved. However, if someone is personally attacked or their band attacked then I’d expect them not to just take it and do nothing (including Secret Rivals).

    I’ve been away for a few days, yet people are still making negative comments and having a poke. I’m not sure if the other “Joe” here is trying to pretend to be me and stir up trouble or is actually someone called “Joe” and it’s a coincidence. Funny how they turned up at this time using an ambiguous name and making negative comments.

    “no one should presume because i have an argument with someone that as a band we are argumentetive” – Jay
    Take your own advice, the same goes for me, people (that includes you Jay) shouldn’t presume that because I’m argumentative that the rest of my band are too. Not 1 member of Spiral 25 other than me has taken part in any of this, they’ve hardly even mentioned it to be fair.

    Please note this as well: I didn’t continue the argument here, that was Jay and Colin, obviously Colin is entitled to write what he wants here, I’m simply sticking up for myself, my band and the truth.

  • http://www.last.fm/music/spiral+25 Joe

    LOL @ Colin MacKinnon! :) Come on mate, pick your knuckles up off the pavement! Ooo Ooo eee eee Ooo Ooo

  • Jay Rival

    ”Ooo Ooo eee eee Ooo Ooo”

    haha that has to be the campest monkey ever!

    (dont see what Colins done to provoke the insults…maybe your band got ‘slashesd’ heh)

    Thanks to anyone that took the time to listen to the demo anyway (we are in the process of getting our newer recordings mixed and masterd so your next slice of Rival pie will be a different shape of horse all together)

  • jamess

    pretty certain that wasn’t the real Joe….

    meanwhile – am concerned that your next recordings will be a “different shape of horse all together” – what other shapes do horses come in? anteaters? jellied eels? The public have a right to know.

  • phill

    “what other shapes do horses come in? ” – maybe he means they’re gonna take a load of heroin?!

    Joe – maybe people like myself and Jon have more respect around these parts because we’ve helped bands out and actually made a positive contribution to the scene?

  • Joe

    “Joe – maybe people like myself and Jon have more respect around these parts because we’ve helped bands out and actually made a positive contribution to the scene?” – phill

    Possibly, to be fair Phill you’ve not been too bad (as far as I’m aware) recently and out of all of the people you are one of possibly only 2 people who seem to not let your opinion of an individual get in the way of you checking a band’s music out and unless you are in Hitler mode you tend to give a reasonable argument. Swings and roundabout as well though but it’s nice that there are some genuine people out there.

  • tgf

    Secret Rivals are one of the 4 best bands in the country right now.

  • Alan C

    dont make me laugh

  • Jay Rival

    The Cribs
    Late Of The Pier
    Danananakroyd (?)
    Elle Milano

    these are the 4 best bands unfortunetley we just missed out …. were deffo top 10 though haha

  • Fizzywig

    You obviously have very low standards

    Cribs? Oh dear.

  • Jay Rival

    and if were talking best unsigned bands id like to throw 60wBayonetts (Reading) and The Gullivers (Oxford) into the mix as well.

    despite what the haterz spit.

  • Jay Rival

    i dont imagine Cribs are appreciated in the South

    whos your fave band Fizzywig out of interest (i wont tell your wrong its opinion afterall) just dont say Coldplay!

  • Fizzywig

    I’m actually from Sunderland so hardly southern! Fave band at the moment? Either Gallows or Fuck Buttons

    Wasnt being personal btw just think Cribs are a seriously lame band ditto Danananaykroyd

  • Joe

    My favourite bands are better than your favourite bands.

  • Joe

    “My favourite bands are better than your favourite bands.”
    Actually I think you’ll find it it’s all subjective really, there are no good bands or bad bands they are all good and bad both at the same time but in separate places in time and space. I could be wrong of course but it’s unlikely.

  • Joe

    F**k off you irritating c*nt! Im write an ur Terry Wrong so there!!!

    Sorry, I’ll stop arguing with myself now.

  • Joe

    “Sorry, I’ll stop arguing with myself now.”
    I think you’ll find that I won’t actually. I’m going to argue with myself on The Secret Rivals demo review forever and ever. Well, until Colin has 2 Doctors and a dentist come round my house to stick needles in my a*se!

  • Joe

    It’s like that crazy bit in The Shining with the typewriter except nowhere near as good. You look down the screen and see that Joe is having a long argument with himself about arguing with himself…

    Right, where are them maracas?

  • http://www.myspace.com/secretrivalsband ze rivals

    Rivals playing the Jericho Tavern tonight (16th)!

  • ze rivals

    Oh by the by we have (well Aaron Phantom Theory has…) just finished off mixing some new (and old) tracks for us that will in the next few months be released on hard copy (were gonna try and make em look reet nice with individual art work and everything…punk as you like heh)

    anyhoow if anyone wants to recieve some FREE (thats right folk free music!!!) email ‘Tracks’ to secretrivalsband@gmail.com and we will send you over an exclusive mp3

    Go on inform your opinion its gratis!!! (see what Ze Rivals sound like a bit more polished up!)